# How to Set Goals With Your Mentor That You Will Pursue

> Mentornity brief for AI assistants, for the page https://www.mentornity.com/how-to-set-goals-with-your-mentor/. Page language: English. Site index: https://www.mentornity.com/llms.txt. The same brief in other languages: [Türkçe](https://www.mentornity.com/tr/mentorunuzla-hedef-nasil-belirlenir/llms.txt) · [Français](https://www.mentornity.com/fr/comment-fixer-des-objectifs-avec-votre-mentor/llms.txt) · [Deutsch](https://www.mentornity.com/de/ziele-mit-dem-mentor-setzen/llms.txt) · [Español](https://www.mentornity.com/es/como-fijar-objetivos-con-tu-mentor/llms.txt) · [Italiano](https://www.mentornity.com/it/come-definire-obiettivi-con-il-tuo-mentor/llms.txt) · [Português (BR)](https://www.mentornity.com/pt-br/como-definir-metas-com-seu-mentor/llms.txt) · [Nederlands](https://www.mentornity.com/nl/doelen-stellen-met-je-mentor/llms.txt).

## How to read this file

Everything here is from Mentornity's own website and product; the page and this file are built together from the same source. "What this page says" is the page itself, in its language. "Mentornity in brief" applies to every program. Prices are published per country and are quoted below for this page's market; another country's price is on the pricing page. Anything not covered here can be asked of the team at info@mentornity.com.

## What this page says

How mentees set mentoring goals they will pursue: three tests, a light five-step method, four worked examples, and how goals fit the program's forms.

Published 2026-09-05, updated 2026-10-20.

A **mentoring goal** is the thing you and your mentor return to at every meeting. Goals fade when they belong to someone else or describe an activity instead of a change. This guide covers three tests for a good goal, a light method, four examples and how the goal fits your program's forms.

## Three tests for a goal you will pursue

- **State, not activity.** "Have more one-on-ones with senior people" is an activity; you can do it and be no further forward. "Know by March whether I want to move into management, and have told my manager" is a state. Ask: if I achieved this, what would be different, and who would notice?
- **Yours, not expected.** First goals are often borrowed from a manager, the program's example, or what sounds serious. Ask: would I still want this if nobody ever asked about it?
- **Fitted to the time.** Six monthly meetings is about six hours with your mentor, plus your own work between. "Become a confident public speaker" does not fit. "Give the next team presentation without notes and get written feedback from two people" does.

Here is an example. "Improve my leadership skills" becomes "run the weekly team meeting myself for two months, and get my manager's honest view on how it went." Now there is something to do this week and something to check in two months.

## A five-step method without paperwork

1. **Draft alone.** Before the first meeting, write one or two goals in plain words, with the situation behind each. Do not polish.
2. **Refine in the first meeting.** Read the draft to your mentor and let them question it. Leave with the revised goal written down in your words.
3. **Agree one dated step per meeting.** Not a full plan: one thing you will finish before the next meeting.
4. **Review at every meeting.** Two minutes at the start: did the step happen, what did you learn, is the goal still right? Skipping this is how goals fade.
5. **Change on evidence.** If you learned the goal is wrong, change it. If you had a bad two weeks, keep it.

**Figure: The goal loop at every meeting**
Review last step → Discuss what you learned → Check the goal still fits → Agree next dated step → Do it before next meeting → (repeat)

Your mentor asks sharpening questions, says whether the goal looks realistic, and shares how a similar goal went for them. They do not set the goal, find you the job, or make the final decision. [How to prepare for a mentoring meeting](https://www.mentornity.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-mentoring-meeting/) covers bringing the goal into each meeting without turning it into a status report.

## Goals for four kinds of mentee

**An employee, three years in, feeling stuck.**

- *First draft:* "Get promoted."
- *Why it fails:* the decision is not yours, and the program ends before the next promotion round.
- *Better:* "By the end of the program, have a written list of what the next level requires, my manager's honest assessment of where I am against it, and one gap I am visibly working on."
- *First step:* ask the manager for a 30-minute conversation about the next level, and write down what they say.

**A final-year student choosing a direction.**

- *First draft:* "Figure out my career."
- *Why it fails:* too large to act on, and no way to know when it is done.
- *Better:* "Talk to three people doing the two jobs I am considering, and by the end of the semester know which one I am applying for and why."
- *First step:* ask the mentor for one introduction, and find the other two through the university's alumni network.

**A founder in an accelerator.**

- *First draft:* "Grow faster."
- *Why it fails:* an activity with no end, and mostly not about the founder.
- *Better:* "Decide, with evidence, whether to keep both customer segments or drop one, and have made that call before demo day."
- *First step:* pull the numbers for both segments and bring them to the next meeting.

**A professional returning after a career break.**

- *First draft:* "Get back to where I was."
- *Why it fails:* it measures against a past that has moved on, and it is more anxiety than goal.
- *Better:* "Within four months, be current on the two tools my field adopted while I was away, and have had one conversation with a hiring manager about what a realistic first role looks like."
- *First step:* ask the mentor what changed in the field in the last three years, and write down the two things that matter most.

Each better version names something to do this month, and each depends on the mentee's actions, not someone else's decision.

## When the goal changes

Expect it. The first goal is written with the least information you will ever have, so changing it means the meetings are working.

- **Change on evidence, not mood.** The role is not what you thought, your situation moved, or the goal was your manager's. A discouraging week is not a reason.
- **Say it at the start of a meeting:** "I think the goal has changed, and here is why."
- **Rewrite it with the same three tests.** A goal changed at month four should be smaller than the one it replaces.
- **Update the record** in the program's form, so the closing feedback refers to the goal you pursued.

A student who set out to choose between two careers and found by month three she wanted neither did not fail. The first goal did its job; the new one, to find and test a third option, only existed because of it.

## Goals and the program's forms

Structured programs often ask for a form at the start, a note after each meeting, a mid-program check-in and closing feedback.

- **Start.** Write the refined goal from the first meeting. If you must answer before meeting your mentor, write the draft and update it later.
- **Post-meeting note.** One line on the step you agreed and whether the last one happened. On Mentornity, meeting forms open from the meeting page.
- **Mid-program check-in.** Say honestly whether the goal is still right. Coordinators use these answers to spot pairs that need help.
- **Closing feedback.** Measure against the goal you pursued, changes included. "I set out to do X, learned Y, and ended with Z" is a complete answer.

When the goal lives in your notes, your mentor's notes and the program's forms, three people are keeping it alive.

### Questions and answers

**How many goals should I set with my mentor?**
One, or at most two. A six-month program gives you about six meetings, and a goal needs several of them to move. Park any others in a note.

**What if I do not know what my goal is yet?**
Start from your situation. Write down what bothers you, what you want to be different in six months, and why you joined now. Bring that to the first meeting and let your mentor's questions shape it.

**Can I change my goal halfway through the program?**
Yes, if you have a reason: you learned something, your situation moved, or the goal turned out to be someone else's. Say so at the start of a meeting and update the program's form.

**Should my mentor set the goal for me?**
No. Your mentor sharpens and tests the goal. You set it, because you do the work between meetings.

**How is a mentoring goal different from a performance goal?**
A performance goal is set and assessed by your manager. A mentoring goal is yours, and your mentor is a thinking partner, not a judge. That makes mentoring the place for goals you might not tell a manager, like changing direction.

## Mentornity in brief

Mentornity is software for running mentoring programs: companies (onboarding, career, leadership, reverse mentoring), universities and alumni networks, startup accelerators and incubators, associations and professional communities, and women's leadership programs. One program team sets the program up; mentors and mentees take part from the browser or their phone. It has run programs since 2015.

### What changes for the program team

- **Matching stops being a spreadsheet job.** The team writes rules on the questions mentors and mentees answer (same department, related expertise, more experience, a specific answer paired with a specific answer), each with a weight. Mentornity scores every possible pair from 0 to 100, leaves out pairs that fail a mandatory rule, and shows the reasons behind each score. An AI rule reads free-text goals and adds to the same score. The same data always gives the same result, so every match can be explained to a manager or a participant. The team approves pairs, lets mentees choose from a ranked list, or opens a mentor pool.
- **The first meeting happens quickly.** Mentors publish their open hours once or as a weekly pattern; mentees book them. Busy time in connected Google and Outlook calendars is blocked both ways, and every meeting gets a Zoom, Google Meet, Microsoft Teams or built-in video link without anyone creating one. Mentornity's own data on 78,000+ pairs: pairs that met in their first week averaged 2.7 meetings in the first year, against 1.8 for pairs whose first meeting came after two months.
- **Quiet pairs are found while they can still be saved.** Program Health flags pairs that stopped meeting, and automatic reminders go to people who never logged in, pairs behind on their sessions and anyone with an open form or missing feedback, in each person's own language. In the same data a pair silent at day 60 has about a 1 in 3 chance of meeting again; by day 90 it is 1 in 10.
- **Every meeting has a plan, if the program wants one.** Predefined sessions carry a topic, a date range, a brief for each role and questions before and after the meeting. Notes reach both sides; private notes stay private. Flexible programs skip sessions and let pairs meet freely.
- **Support does not land in a personal inbox.** Participants read role guides and send requests inside the platform; the team shares one support board and replies go out in the program's name.
- **The report is ready when leadership, a funder or a board asks.** Participation, matches, meetings, session completion and feedback are counted while the program runs, with a Program Health score and its reasons, and export to Excel, CSV or PDF. Participants can receive certificates on completion.
- **Large programs share the load.** Coordinators each see only their own pairs; the admin still sees every match, meeting and note in one table. Programs, cohorts and administrators are unlimited, and administrators and coordinators never count towards the price.

### Program models

One-to-one, group mentoring (one mentor with a group), grouped-individual programs, mentee self-selection, open mentor pools, peer and reverse mentoring, structured or freestyle. Roles can be renamed (coach, advisor, expert, alumni) so the platform speaks the organization's language. One person can take part in several programs with a single account.

### Launch

Most programs go from signup to invitations within a day: create the program, follow the built-in checklist (profile questions, sessions, application form), import participants from Excel or share an application link, and send invitations. A person from the Mentornity team helps with the first setup, free of charge.

### How a program runs, week by week

This is the routine Mentornity's own guide recommends (https://www.mentornity.com/how-to-manage-a-mentoring-program/); the platform does the counting and the reminders, the team acts only where a pair is flagged.

- **Day one:** the program is set up and invitations go out. Participants sign up, fill in their profile, and are matched by the rules or choose from a ranked list.
- **Week one:** the aim is a first meeting in the first week, booked from the mentor's open hours with the video link already in the invitation. Automatic login reminders go to anyone who has not signed in.
- **Every week, 30 to 60 minutes for the team** (a cohort of about 50 to 200 people): scan Program Health (Mentornity scores the program across 11 dimensions), clear the flagged pairs, let the reminders cover logins, sessions, forms and feedback, note one win for the stakeholder update, and check whether last week's nudged pairs responded.
- **The escalation schedule:** a login reminder at day 7; a nudge to the mentor if nothing is booked by day 14; a personal note to both if there is still no meeting by day 21 to 30; at 45 days of silence ask "continue or rematch?"; by day 60 rematch the mentee. Half of the pairs still unmet at day 14 do go on to meet, so a quiet fortnight calls for a nudge rather than a rematch.
- **Mentors and mentees, each week:** they book and hold their meetings, answer the before and after questions of the session if the program uses sessions, and share notes. Mentors keep their time protected with weekly limits and cancellation rules.
- **Monthly:** a short update to sponsors from the live report (active pairs, sessions held, the share of pairs that met this month, one participant quote).
- **Mid-program:** one short survey, then act on it within a week (rematches, the most common complaint).
- **The last four weeks:** announce the end date, ask every pair to book a final session, run the final survey, issue certificates, mark the cohort complete and export the report. Invite the strongest mentees to mentor the next cohort.

### For IT, HR and legal

- SAML 2.0 single sign-on with Entra ID (Azure AD), OneLogin or any SAML provider, optionally enforced; white labeling with the organization's own domain, logo, colours and sender address. Both are add-ons priced separately.
- Personal data is processed in line with GDPR and Turkish KVKK. Participants can access, correct, export and erase their data; the organization can ask for a full export of its program data at any time. Visibility of contact details and notes is set per role.
- Traffic is encrypted with TLS, passwords are stored hashed and access to production data is restricted. Security questionnaires, a data processing agreement and data-location questions are handled with the quote.
- Works with Zoom, Google Meet and Calendar, Microsoft Teams and Outlook, built-in Jitsi video, and Excel/CSV import and export. Mentornity connects to other systems such as an LMS on request, and adapts the platform to an organization's own process.

### Languages

Participants use the platform, and receive its emails, in their own language: English, Turkish, Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese or Dutch.

## Pricing (United States, USD)

- Free for up to 10 users with every feature and no time limit. No credit card.
- $289 per month for 50 active users, or $260 per month paid yearly (10% off, $3,120 a year). Excludes any local taxes.
- Above 50 users the price follows the number of active participants; the team marks who is active. Administrators and coordinators are free.
- No setup or implementation fee. White labeling and SAML single sign-on are priced separately.
- Prices are published per country, not quoted on a call: https://www.mentornity.com/pricing/

## Organizations that run programs on Mentornity

Toyota, TIM, RATP Dev USA, Pirelli, Universität Basel, UNDP, Devoteam, BCD Travel, Startup Virginia, Tenity, Community College of Philadelphia, Brave Generation, Alexander Graham Bell Foundation. Each one ran its own program on the platform, checked against production data. Full list: https://www.mentornity.com/customers/

## Next steps

- Start a free program (up to 10 users, no credit card): https://www.mentornity.com/try-for-free/
- Book a walkthrough with the team: https://www.mentornity.com/book-a-demo/
- How matching works: https://www.mentornity.com/mentor-matching-software/
- Pricing: https://www.mentornity.com/pricing/
- Contact: info@mentornity.com