A guide for mentors: Know the Limits
The limits that keep mentoring safe for both of you.
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
Why limits matter
Clear limits protect you both
Protégés named manipulation by a mentor among their negative experiences.
Confidentiality
Agree what stays between you
Say early what stays private and when you would have to tell someone.
- Stays between us doubts, mistakes, plans, personal matters
- I cannot keep it private a risk of serious harm to you or others
- Program rules what your program asks mentors to report
- I ask you first before I share anything with anyone
Conflicts of interest
Say any conflict of interest
Conflicts of interest marked failed relationships in interviews with 54 faculty members.
- You rate their work
- You might hire them
- You compete for the same role
- You sell to them
- Family or close friends
Money and favours
Keep favours out of mentoring
Do not lend money, give costly gifts or expect anything in return.
- No loans or payments
- No costly gifts, either way
- No business deals
- No romantic or sexual relationship
Signs of distress
Notice distress, then refer
Mental health first aid training helped people spot problems and offer help.
How to refer
Listen, do not diagnose, refer
Listen without judging, suggest professional help, and get help fast if there is danger.
- Listen no advice yet
- Ask how they are directly and calmly
- Suggest a professional doctor, counsellor, helpline
- Danger now call your local emergency number
- Tell the program team when safety is at stake
The program’s channels
Meet through the program
Plan meetings and messages through the program, so both of you are covered.
- Meetings booked in the program
- Messages in the program, not private apps
- In person in a public or work place
Write it down
Put the limits in your agreement
Agreements on communication and conduct help mentors and mentees align expectations.
- Confidentiality and its limit
- Conflicts named and handled
- Referral who helps with what
Mentornity in Claude
Use Mentornity from Claude
Ask in your own words; Claude finds meetings, opens your hours and drafts your messages.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude or another MCP assistant, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Find a slot, move a meeting, read profiles, fill in forms.
A preview before every change
Claude shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
Claude sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude or another MCP assistant, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Find a slot, move a meeting, read profiles, fill in forms.
A preview before every change
Claude shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
Claude sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Sources
The research behind this presentation
- Eby, L. T., McManus, S. E., Simon, S. A. & Russell, J. E. A. (2000) The protégé’s perspective regarding negative mentoring experiences: The development of a taxonomy Journal of Vocational Behavior, 57(1), 1-21
- Straus, S. E., Johnson, M. O., Marquez, C. & Feldman, M. D. (2013) Characteristics of successful and failed mentoring relationships: A qualitative study across two academic health centers Academic Medicine, 88(1), 82-89
- Huskins, W. C., Silet, K., Weber-Main, A. M., Begg, M. D., Fowler, V. G., Hamilton, J. et al. (2011) Identifying and aligning expectations in a mentoring relationship Clinical and Translational Science, 4(6), 439-447
- Morgan, A. J., Ross, A. & Reavley, N. J. (2018) Systematic review and meta-analysis of Mental Health First Aid training: Effects on knowledge, stigma, and helping behaviour PLOS ONE, 13(5), e0197102
Say your limits in the first meeting
Confidentiality, conflicts and where you refer: three lines in your agreement.