Film-style poster for the Listen First presentation

A guide for mentors A guide for mentors

How to run a mentoring conversation that ends in a step your mentee owns.

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What this guide covers

What this guide covers

What this guide covers

When feedback backfires

Feedback helps, but not always

Feedback improves performance on average, yet in over a third of studies it hurt.

0.41 Average effect of feedback on performance

1 in 3+ Share of feedback effects that lowered performance Kluger & DeNisi, Psychological Bulletin, 1996

Listening first

Listen, then play it back

Sum up what you heard in two minutes, then ask what you missed.

So the real issue is the senior audience, not the slides? Your summary, said back.
What did I miss? Lets them correct you.

The second question

Ask the second question

People who ask follow-up questions are liked more, and they learn what actually happened.

Say more about that.
What made it hard?
What did you try first?
What would you change next time?

A simple structure

Use GROW as the skeleton

Goal, reality, options and way forward keep a free conversation heading to a decision.

G

GoalWhat do you want from today?

R

RealityWhat is happening now?

O

OptionsWhat could you try?

W

Way forwardWhat will you do, and by when?

Hard feedback

Give hard feedback the wise way

Pair a high standard with belief in them, then one specific fix.

High standardI am being direct because this matters. BeliefI know you can reach the bar. One specific fixOpen with the decision you need, then the data.

About the work ~~You are not a natural presenter.~~

Doing it on Mentornity

Keep the thread on Mentornity

Forms, notes and messages carry the conversation from one meeting to the next.

Fill in the meeting form

It opens again with your answers saved.

Write the agreed step

A visible note emails your mentee; a hidden one sends nothing.

Message between meetings

Each message also arrives by email, so nothing gets lost.

Turn on browser push

New meetings, changes and messages reach you at once.

Fill in the meeting form

It opens again with your answers saved.

Write the agreed step

A visible note emails your mentee; a hidden one sends nothing.

Meeting notesEmily P.

Visible noteEmailed to the participants at once Emailed

Agreed: lead the next team update, rehearse on Thursday.

update-outline.pdfUp to 10 files

Hidden noteOnly you and the program admins

Message between meetings

Each message also arrives by email, so nothing gets lost.

Turn on browser push

New meetings, changes and messages reach you at once.

1Fill in the meeting form

2Write the agreed step

Meeting notesEmily P.

Visible noteEmailed to the participants at once Emailed

Agreed: lead the next team update, rehearse on Thursday.

update-outline.pdfUp to 10 files

Hidden noteOnly you and the program admins

3Message between meetings

4Turn on browser push

Next meeting, talk less

Count your questions, and let your mentee name the next step.

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