A guide for mentors: Stay the Course
How to build trust with a young person and keep going.
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
Why length matters
Very short matches can do harm
Young people whose match ended very early were worse off on several measures.
How often it happens
Many matches end too soon
Plan for the full program, not for a few meetings.
The first weeks
Let them set the pace
Start with their interests; talk about problems once they trust you.
- Weeks 1 to 4 their interests, things to do together
- Weeks 5 to 8 what is going well, what is hard
- After that goals they choose
Why matches fail
Six reasons matches end early
Interviews about matches that ended early named these causes.
- One side stops showing up
- Mentor sees no effort
- Expectations not met
- Weak relationship skills
- Family pressure
- Little program support
When they go quiet
Keep showing up when they cancel
A missed meeting is not a goodbye; keep the next one easy to say yes to.
- They cancel twice No problem. Same time next week?
- No reply for two weeks Tell the program team and keep the slot.
- They seem bored Ask what they would rather do.
Before you give up
Talk to the team before quitting
Young people rematched after an early ending did worse than those who stayed.
Saying goodbye
If you must stop, say goodbye
A planned last meeting tells them the ending is not their fault.
- Tell them two meetings ahead
- Name one thing they did well
- Say clearly it is not their fault
- Agree the next step with the program
Mentornity in Claude and ChatGPT
Use Mentornity from Claude or ChatGPT
Ask in your own words; your assistant plans meetings, fills in tools and drafts messages.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude, ChatGPT or another MCP app, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Plan meetings, fill in a tool or form, find a mentor, reply.
A preview before every change
The assistant shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
It sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude, ChatGPT or another MCP app, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Plan meetings, fill in a tool or form, find a mentor, reply.
A preview before every change
The assistant shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
It sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Your goals and the Academy
Set goals, learn, earn a badge
Track your goals in My development and learn in Mentornity Academy, in your language.
Set your goals
Write what you want to reach and rate it at each check-in.
Badge courses for mentors
Seven skills with short practice, then a 20-question exam.
Guides for mentors and mentees
Research-based guides, a deck for every tool, and decks for your program.
Add your badge to LinkedIn
Pass the exam and share the badge page, valid for two years.
Set your goals
Write what you want to reach and rate it at each check-in.
Badge courses for mentors
Seven skills with short practice, then a 20-question exam.
Guides for mentors and mentees
Research-based guides, a deck for every tool, and decks for your program.
Add your badge to LinkedIn
Pass the exam and share the badge page, valid for two years.
Sources
The research behind this presentation
- Grossman, J. B. & Rhodes, J. E. (2002) The test of time: Predictors and effects of duration in youth mentoring relationships American Journal of Community Psychology, 30(2), 199-219
- DeWit, D. J., DuBois, D., Erdem, G., Larose, S., Lipman, E. L. & Spencer, R. (2016) Mentoring relationship closures in Big Brothers Big Sisters community mentoring programs: Patterns and associated risk factors American Journal of Community Psychology, 57(1-2), 60-72
- Spencer, R. (2007) “It’s not what I expected”: A qualitative study of youth mentoring relationship failures Journal of Adolescent Research, 22(4), 331-354
- Grossman, J. B., Chan, C. S., Schwartz, S. E. O. & Rhodes, J. E. (2012) The test of time in school-based mentoring: The role of relationship duration and re-matching on academic outcomes American Journal of Community Psychology, 49(1-2), 43-54
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