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A guide for mentors: Three Good Things for Mentors

How to send Three Good Things, read the causes and turn one into a step.

English

What this guide covers

What this guide covers

What this guide covers

What it is

Three good things, every evening

Your mentee writes three things that went well today, and why each happened.

When to send it

Send it when weeks feel heavy

It helps when talks drift to what went wrong, or after a hard stretch.

  • Heavy weeks a lot went wrong
  • Problem talk every meeting starts with trouble
  • After a win to see what made it work

An honest frame

A habit, not a treatment

The full exercise runs every night for a week, and the effect is modest.

1 week of nightly writing left people happier a month later, mostly those who kept going Seligman and others, 2005
39 trials in one review found small to moderate effects Bolier and others, 2013

Sending it

Send it from your pairing

It takes a minute, and your mentee gets an email.

Open your pairing

Choose Assign a tool and find Three Good Things.

Try it as your mentee

Write one good thing yourself; nothing is saved or sent.

Add a short message

Ask for one evening first; each filling records one evening.

Open your pairing

Choose Assign a tool and find Three Good Things.

Try it as your mentee

Write one good thing yourself; nothing is saved or sent.

Add a short message

Ask for one evening first; each filling records one evening.

Reading the answers

Read the why, not only the what

The causes show what your mentee did to make good things happen.

  • Good things three, and small ones count
  • With a cause each one has its why
  • What they noticed optional, often the richest part

Questions to ask

Ask what surprised them

People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

  • Which of the three surprised you? then: why that one?
  • How much of the “why” was down to you? then: what did you do?
  • What could make one of these happen again? then: when could you try it?

Feedback that helps

Do not shrink the good things

Take each one as it is, even if it looks small to you.

1 in 3 Over a third of feedback effects lowered performance in one large review Kluger and DeNisi, 1996

One step

Repeat one cause on purpose

Pick a cause that was down to them and plan to repeat it.

  • Their cause something they did
  • On purpose not left to luck
  • This week a day you can name

After the meeting

Keep it all on Mentornity

The answers, your comments and the next steps stay in one place.

Read it at a glance

Good things and causes are counted for you.

Add next steps

Write what will be done, by whom and by when.

Ask to fill it again

Ask to fill it again for the next evening; earlier ones stay.

Read it at a glance

Good things and causes are counted for you.

Add next steps

Write what will be done, by whom and by when.

Ask to fill it again

Ask to fill it again for the next evening; earlier ones stay.

Try one week together

Send it today and ask for one evening at a time, for a week.

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