A guide for mentors: The Triangle
How to work with your mentee’s manager without taking their place.
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
Why the manager matters
The manager shapes the daily work
In two companies, mentees’ job attitudes followed their manager and coworkers, not the formal mentor.
Three roles
You are not a second manager
The manager sets the work and rates it, and you help your mentee think.
- Manager tasks, priorities, performance review
- Mentor questions, your experience, a view from outside the team
- Mentee decides what to work on and what to try
The three-way call
Start with a 20-minute three-way call
In the first month, meet your mentee and their manager once.
- Minutes 0 to 5 the mentee says the goal
- Minutes 5 to 15 the manager says where work can support it
- Minutes 15 to 20 agree what the manager will hear and when
What the manager hears
Agree what the manager hears
Written agreements help mentors and mentees line up their expectations.
- The manager hears the goal, and progress once a quarter
- Stays between you doubts, mistakes, career plans
- Your mentee raises it anything about their manager
Check you agree
Ask what your mentee thinks you do
Mentors and mentees in formal programs often describe their relationship differently.
- What has helped you most so far? Ask every two months.
- What should we do less of? Gives them room to say it.
A complaint about the manager
Listen to a complaint, take no side
You hear one side, so help your mentee plan their own talk with the manager.
- What would you like your manager to do differently? Moves to a plan.
- How could you raise it with them this week? Keeps it their conversation.
- You are right, your manager is wrong. Takes a side you cannot see.
When it belongs to HR
Know what belongs to HR
Some problems need the company’s process, not a mentoring plan.
- Harassment or discrimination
- A threat or a safety risk
- Pay, contract or a formal performance process
- Your mentee asks you to act for them
Support for the new skill
New skills need support at work
Learning reaches the job more often when the work environment supports it.
Mentornity in Claude and ChatGPT
Use Mentornity from Claude or ChatGPT
Ask in your own words; your assistant plans meetings, fills in tools and drafts messages.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude, ChatGPT or another MCP app, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Plan meetings, fill in a tool or form, find a mentor, reply.
A preview before every change
The assistant shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
It sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude, ChatGPT or another MCP app, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Plan meetings, fill in a tool or form, find a mentor, reply.
A preview before every change
The assistant shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
It sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Your goals and the Academy
Set goals, learn, earn a badge
Track your goals in My development and learn in Mentornity Academy, in your language.
Set your goals
Write what you want to reach and rate it at each check-in.
Badge courses for mentors
Seven skills with short practice, then a 20-question exam.
Guides for mentors and mentees
Research-based guides, a deck for every tool, and decks for your program.
Add your badge to LinkedIn
Pass the exam and share the badge page, valid for two years.
Set your goals
Write what you want to reach and rate it at each check-in.
Badge courses for mentors
Seven skills with short practice, then a 20-question exam.
Guides for mentors and mentees
Research-based guides, a deck for every tool, and decks for your program.
Add your badge to LinkedIn
Pass the exam and share the badge page, valid for two years.
Sources
The research behind this presentation
- Raabe, B. & Beehr, T. A. (2003) Formal mentoring versus supervisor and coworker relationships: Differences in perceptions and impact Journal of Organizational Behavior, 24(3), 271-293
- Blume, B. D., Ford, J. K., Baldwin, T. T. & Huang, J. L. (2010) Transfer of training: A meta-analytic review Journal of Management, 36(4), 1065-1105
- Huskins, W. C., Silet, K., Weber-Main, A. M., Begg, M. D., Fowler, V. G., Hamilton, J. et al. (2011) Identifying and aligning expectations in a mentoring relationship Clinical and Translational Science, 4(6), 439-447
Book the three-way call this month
Ask your mentee to invite their manager for 20 minutes.