A guide for mentors: Across Difference
How to build trust with a mentee whose position or background differs from yours.
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
What this guide covers
The power gap
Every pair has a power gap
Differences in rank and group power shape what each side feels free to say.
- Rank
- Age
- Gender
- Background and culture
- Being in the majority
Similarity that counts
Shared values beat shared background
Similar values and attitudes went with better mentoring, far more than demographics.
Common ground
Look for common ground on purpose
When protégés saw more in common, they liked their mentors more and met more.
Give it time
Give a different pair time
Pairs of different genders got less mentoring at first, and more over time.
- First months less mentoring
- Trust builds more open talk
- Later more mentoring
Support across race
Personal support can thin out
In one company, same-race pairs gave more personal support than cross-race pairs.
Cultural humility
Ask, do not assume
Cultural humility means steady self-reflection and fixing power imbalances, not knowing every culture.
- What is different for you here than for me? Then listen, without defending.
- Is there anything I should understand better? Ask it more than once.
Criticism across difference
Pair criticism with belief
Naming high standards and belief in the student eased mistrust and raised revisions.
- Your standard say why the bar is high
- Your belief say they can reach it
- The next step one concrete change
Your own lens
Your path is one path
Say what worked for you, then ask what is different for them.
- My experience one example
- Their context what differs
- Their choice what fits them
Mentornity in Claude
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Connect it once
Add Mentornity in Claude or another MCP assistant, then sign in.
Ask in your own words
Find a slot, move a meeting, read profiles, fill in forms.
A preview before every change
Claude shows what will happen; nothing changes until you say yes.
Disconnect any time
Claude sees only what you see; Settings shows what it did recently.
Sources
The research behind this presentation
- Ragins, B. R. (1997) Diversified mentoring relationships in organizations: A power perspective Academy of Management Review, 22(2), 482-521
- Eby, L. T., Allen, T. D., Hoffman, B. J., Baranik, L. E., Sauer, J. B., Baldwin, S., Morrison, M. A., Kinkade, K. M., Maher, C. P., Curtis, S. & Evans, S. C. (2013) An interdisciplinary meta-analysis of the potential antecedents, correlates, and consequences of protégé perceptions of mentoring Psychological Bulletin, 139(2), 441-476
- Ensher, E. A. & Murphy, S. E. (1997) Effects of race, gender, perceived similarity, and contact on mentor relationships Journal of Vocational Behavior, 50(3), 460-481
- Turban, D. B., Dougherty, T. W. & Lee, F. K. (2002) Gender, race, and perceived similarity effects in developmental relationships: The moderating role of relationship duration Journal of Vocational Behavior, 61(2), 240-262
- Thomas, D. A. (1990) The impact of race on managers’ experiences of developmental relationships (mentoring and sponsorship): An intra-organizational study Journal of Organizational Behavior, 11(6), 479-492
- Tervalon, M. & Murray-García, J. (1998) Cultural humility versus cultural competence: A critical distinction in defining physician training outcomes in multicultural education Journal of Health Care for the Poor and Underserved, 9(2), 117-125
- Yeager, D. S., Purdie-Vaughns, V., Garcia, J., Apfel, N., Brzustoski, P., Master, A. et al. (2014) Breaking the cycle of mistrust: Wise interventions to provide critical feedback across the racial divide Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(2), 804-824
Ask one open question about their context
What is different for you here than for people like me?