Working Agreement

What it is

Goals, rhythm and rules, in writing. You and your mentee agree goals, a meeting rhythm and a few ground rules.

When to send it

Send it at the very start. It works best before your first or second meeting, while habits are still forming.

• A new matchingthe library suggests it for the start
• Meetings have driftedto reset the rhythm together
• The review datefill it again and compare

Filling it in

Fifteen minutes, one screen at a time. Start with your goals, then the rhythm, then the rules you agree on.

1. Write your goalsUp to five; start with the most important.
2. Pick a rhythmHow often, how long, and by video or in person.
3. Add hopes, rules and a dateSay what you bring, tick the rules, set a review date.

Reading the answers

Look for what is left out. An unticked rule or an empty hope often says more than the ticks.

• The first goalthey were asked to put the most important first
• Bring and hopedoes what they hope for match what you can give?
• Unticked rulesask why, without pressure

Questions to ask

Talk about the hard parts early. People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

• Which goal matters most right now?then: why that one first?
• When would you cancel, and how will we tell each other?then: how early is early enough?
• How will we know it is working before the review?then: what would you notice first?

Why it works

Agreeing on goals and on how you work is the core of a working alliance (Bordin). Written down, it is easy to come back to.

Sources

• MENTOR (2025). Elements of Effective Practice, 5th edition.
• Bordin (1979), working alliance concept: goals, tasks, bond.

How a tool works on Mentornity

1. 1The mentor picks a tool from the library and sends it with a short message.
2. 2The mentee fills it in step by step; the answers are saved as they go.
3. 3Both see the answers, comment on any part and agree the next steps.
4. 4Only the two of them see the answers, not the program admins.

Guides for both sides

• Working Agreement for MentorsFor mentors and coaches: when to send the Working Agreement, what to look for in it, which questions to ask and how to keep it alive.
• Working Agreement for MenteesFor mentees and coachees: what the Working Agreement is, how to fill it in, where to find it and what happens with it next.

More tools: Working together

• Relationship Check-in3 min

  Four quick ratings on how your work together is going. Repeat it every month or so to see the trend.

• Closing and Celebration15 min

  Look back at your goals, name what you gained and say thank you. Your work together ends on a clear, good note.

All tools →