Relationship Check-in

What it is

Four ratings on how it is going. Your mentee rates four statements about your work together, from 0 to 10.

When to send it

Check the alliance every month. A good working alliance goes with better outcomes (Graßmann and others, 2020).

• After a few meetingsonce there is a rhythm to rate
• About once a monththree minutes, so the trend shows
• When something feels offa quiet mentee, a missed meeting

Filling it in

Three minutes, two steps. Rate the four statements, then say what to keep and what to change.

1. Rate four statements0 is not at all, 10 is completely.
2. See your last scoreIf you did this before, your last score is marked.
3. Keep one, change oneWrite one thing that works and one to try.

Reading the answers

Start with the lowest score. The lowest item, and what changed since last time, say the most.

• The lowest itemnamed at a glance, with its score
• Since last timethe earlier score is marked beside the new one
• Keep and changetheir own words, often the clearest part

Questions to ask

Ask about the low score, calmly. People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

• Which score is lowest, and what is behind it?then: what would raise it one point?
• What has changed since the last check-in?then: what helped, what got in the way?
• What will we do differently next meeting?then: how will we notice?

Why it works

Agreement on goals and ways of working, and the bond between you, go together with better outcomes (Graßmann et al. 2020). Asking often catches small problems early.

Sources

• Bordin (1979), working alliance concept: goals, tasks, bond.
• Graßmann, Schölmerich & Schermuly (2020). Human Relations, 73(1).

How a tool works on Mentornity

1. 1The mentor picks a tool from the library and sends it with a short message.
2. 2The mentee fills it in step by step; the answers are saved as they go.
3. 3Both see the answers, comment on any part and agree the next steps.
4. 4Only the two of them see the answers, not the program admins.

Guides for both sides

• Relationship Check-in for MentorsFor mentors and coaches: when to send the Relationship Check-in, how to read a low score, which questions to ask and what to change.
• Relationship Check-in for MenteesFor mentees and coachees: what the Relationship Check-in is, how to fill it in, where to find it and what your mentor does with it.

More tools: Working together

• Working Agreement15 min

  Agree on goals, a meeting rhythm and a few ground rules early on. You both know what to expect.

• Closing and Celebration15 min

  Look back at your goals, name what you gained and say thank you. Your work together ends on a clear, good note.

All tools →