Best Possible Self

What it is

Fifteen minutes about a future that worked. Your mentee writes about life after things went as well as they could.

When to send it

Send it when the future feels vague. It helps before a big choice, or when weeks blur into each other.

• A crossroadsa role, a field, a move
• Weeks that blurbusy, with no direction
• Before goalsto see what the goals serve

Filling it in

Twenty minutes, in three steps. Choose a time frame, write, then name your steps.

1. Choose how far aheadOne, three or five years from now.
2. Write for fifteen minutesStart the timer and keep going; do not stop to fix.
3. Name up to three stepsThings you can start this month.

Reading the answers

Read for detail and warmth. Look at what they wrote about with the most detail and feeling.

• Time frameone, three or five years
• Where the detail isthe parts they wrote most about
• The stepsup to three, things to start this month

Questions to ask

Ask what surprised them first. People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

• What in your writing surprised you?then: what did you expect to write?
• Which part of that future has already started?then: what got it going?
• What stands in the way of the first step?then: how could it be smaller?

Why it works

In King (2001), students who wrote about their best possible future felt better three weeks later. A 2019 meta-analysis of 29 studies found small to moderate gains in optimism and well-being.

Sources

• King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807.
• Carrillo, Rubio-Aparicio, Molinari, Enrique, Sánchez-Meca & Baños (2019). Meta-analysis of 29 studies. PLoS ONE, 14(9), e0222386.

How a tool works on Mentornity

1. 1The mentor picks a tool from the library and sends it with a short message.
2. 2The mentee fills it in step by step; the answers are saved as they go.
3. 3Both see the answers, comment on any part and agree the next steps.
4. 4Only the two of them see the answers, not the program admins.

Guides for both sides

• Best Possible Self for MentorsFor mentors and coaches: when to send Best Possible Self, how to read the writing, which questions to ask and how to turn it into steps.
• Best Possible Self for MenteesFor mentees and coachees: what Best Possible Self is, how to write it, where to find it and what your mentor does with it.

More tools: Self-knowledge

• Values Cards15 min

  Sort value cards into three piles and pick your top five. You see what drives your choices.

• Balance Wheel10 min

  Rate eight areas of life now and as you would like them. The gaps show where to start.

• Possible Selves15 min

  Write who you hope to be next year and who you fear becoming. Next to each, write what you do about it.

• Three Good Things10 min

  Write three things that went well today and why each one happened. A short evening habit.

All tools →