Possible Selves

What it is

Hopes and fears for next year. Your mentee lists who they hope to be and fear becoming, each with a strategy.

When to send it

Send it at a new chapter. It fits a new role, a new school year, or a stretch of feeling stuck.

• A new chaptera role, a year, a team
• Feeling stucksame place, same worries
• Before goalsto see who the goals are for

Filling it in

Fifteen minutes, in three steps. Write your hopes, then your fears, then pick one strategy.

1. Write who you hope to beUp to four, each with what you do for it.
2. Write who you fear becomingBe honest, then add how you stay away from it.
3. Pick one strategyThe one you will start this week.

Reading the answers

Look for the empty strategy. A hope with no strategy next to it is the best place to start.

• Hopes with a strategycounted for you at a glance
• Hopes without onewhere the talk can begin
• Hopes and fearsoften the same theme, two sides

Questions to ask

Start with the open hope. People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

• Which hoped-for self has no strategy yet?then: what could a first one be?
• Is one of your hopes tied to one of your fears?then: how are they tied?
• Who could help with the first strategy?then: when could you ask them?

Why it works

In a school programme studied by Oyserman, Bybee and Terry (2006), students learned to link who they hoped to become with concrete strategies. They did better at school, and the effect held for two years.

Sources

• Oyserman, D., Bybee, D. & Terry, K. (2006). Possible selves and academic outcomes: How and when possible selves impel action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(1), 188–204.

How a tool works on Mentornity

1. 1The mentor picks a tool from the library and sends it with a short message.
2. 2The mentee fills it in step by step; the answers are saved as they go.
3. 3Both see the answers, comment on any part and agree the next steps.
4. 4Only the two of them see the answers, not the program admins.

Guides for both sides

• Possible Selves for MentorsFor mentors and coaches: when to send Possible Selves, how to read the hopes and fears, which questions to ask and how to start one strategy.
• Possible Selves for MenteesFor mentees and coachees: what Possible Selves is, how to fill it in, where to find it and what your mentor does with it.

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• Best Possible Self20 min

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• Three Good Things10 min

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