Inner Council

What it is

An inner council votes on a dilemma. Your mentee lets eight inner advisors vote between two options, one at a time.

When to send it

Send it when they feel torn. It suits a choice between two options that keeps going round.

• Two clear optionsstay or go, this or that
• Going in circlesthe same pros and cons again
• Head and heart differto hear each voice in turn

Filling it in

Fifteen minutes, one step at a time. Write the decision and two options, then let each advisor vote.

1. Name the two optionsWrite the decision, then option A and option B.
2. Let the council voteOne advisor at a time votes A, B or unsure.
3. Pick the voice that weighs mostThen write what you take away.

Reading the answers

Look where the voices split. The vote count matters less than which voices disagree.

• VotesA, B and unsure
• Voices that splitwhere they are torn
• Weighs mostthe voice they trust, and its vote

Questions to ask

One question, then a follow-up. People who ask follow-up questions are liked more (Huang and others, 2017).

• Which advisors split? What is each one protecting?then: can both be protected?
• Is the voice that weighs most for you also the one that voted most clearly?then: what does that tell you?
• What would help the unsure advisors make up their mind?then: how could you find it out?

Why it works

Looking at your own dilemma from the outside, as another voice or as your future self, makes reasoning wiser and calmer (Grossmann & Kross 2014; Bruehlman-Senecal & Ayduk 2015). Letting each voice speak in turn keeps the loudest one from deciding alone.

Sources

• Grossmann, I. & Kross, E. (2014). Exploring Solomon’s paradox: Self-distancing eliminates the self-other asymmetry in wise reasoning about close relationships in younger and older adults. Psychological Science, 25(8), 1571–1580.
• Bruehlman-Senecal, E. & Ayduk, Ö. (2015). This too shall pass: Temporal distance and the regulation of emotional distress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(2), 356–375.

How a tool works on Mentornity

1. 1The mentor picks a tool from the library and sends it with a short message.
2. 2The mentee fills it in step by step; the answers are saved as they go.
3. 3Both see the answers, comment on any part and agree the next steps.
4. 4Only the two of them see the answers, not the program admins.

Guides for both sides

• Inner Council for MentorsFor mentors and coaches: when to send the Inner Council, how to read the answers, which questions to ask and how to agree a next step.
• Inner Council for MenteesFor mentees and coachees: what the Inner Council is, how to fill it in, where to find it and what your mentor does with it.

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